Wrath of the Titans

This is going to be a quick review, in fact, some might say my review will last as long as it took to come up with the plot of this movie. It's a quick review because I really don't have a ton to say about Wrath of the Titans actually. I thought the previews looked horrible, most of the reviews I read were horrible, so it's not much of a crushing blow that the actual movie turned out to be...you guessed it, horrible.

The "plot" deals with Perseus (Sam Worthington) leaving his life of peace to go save his father Zeus (Liam Neeson) from Zeus's brother Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and Zeus's other son Ares (Edgar Ramirez). Sounds like a Jerry Springer episode yeah? There's a ton of other shit going on with fighting and about 10,000 other names that you almost need a subscription to Greek Mythology Weekly to keep up with, but yeah that's the basic point.

Like most action movies these days, Wrath of the Titans brings the action (not very well, which we'll get into), but it's not much of a movie. There's absolutely nothing interesting or even remotely strong with this story (if I can summarize it in two sentences....that should tell you right there), the writing is so archaic and borderline embarassing at times you can see the cobwebs being blown off the script and the acting is so unbearable. This cast had a lot of of talent but if they're not overacting like Ramirez or Fiennes, they're completely wooden like Worthington or Neeson. It's a shame to watch so many good actors go down the drain along with this movie.

And the action scenes.....God, where do I begin? First off, for a movie with the word titans in it, there sure as fuck is barely any titans. They show up in the last 20 minutes (probably around the time I began going into my coma) and fight for about 5 minutes and go away. Big whoop. The other action scenes don't fare any better either. Though the scenery is quite impressive, everything in it is definitely far from it. You can almost smell the CGI in just about every scene and it's pretty much the equivalent of sitting down and watching someone play a video game for 99 minutes= not very fun at all. At least on a game though, you can quit early and save your money as opposed to Wrath of the Titans that feels like the game from Hell that will never end.

0/4