Jurassic World

Mehh. I had high hopes for this one. As expected, everything on a technical level is undeniable. The effects are stellar, the creatures couldn't look better, even the details in the park itself are immaculate. The problem is everything else feels as primitive as the dinosaurs themselves. None of the characters are fascinating or worth caring about at all, Bryce Dallas Howard's character is the cliche stiff and Chris Pratt is playing his Guardians of the Galaxy character except with ludicrous dialogue this time. The child actors are terrible and could have been devoured at any moments, and there's too much stuffing with the subplots going on (the stereotypical romance/strained family relationships). In terms of the look it's fleek but on a personal level it reeks.

2/4

Juno

Ellen Page's charmand Diablo Cody's screenplay work in unison to create magic.

4/4

Jeepers Creepers 2

"Once is a blessing, twice is a curse" is not only a very humorous, though often true saying for having more than one child, this can also be used for having more than one entry in a series. Jeepers Creepers 2 is a complete fail and it's still a mystery to this day as to why it was invented.

Jeepers Creepers 2 stars Ray Wise, as Jack Taggart, a father who is hellbent on getting revenge on "The Creeper" for taking away his son. Oh, and during all of this, a schoolbus full of teenage athletes, their coaches, and their bus driver are stuck in the middle of nowhere while The Creeper hunts them down. And I guess there's a psychic whose having visions about Darry from the first movie after he's been killed warning everyone to stay away from The Creeper. And no, I'm not making this shit up.

The only reason I'm not giving this movie an F is just based on the pure hillarity of the whole thing. The performances are terrible, the story is air thin, there's more scares in an episode of Rugrats, but it blows so hard it almost loops back around to being completely hillarious. Nothing can be taken seriously the entire time as the entire movie feels like a big blooper. I can't think of one scene that's even remotely chilling but I can name about 10 that made me laugh my ass off. It's just a shame no one informed the director on how comical Jeepers Creepers is from beginning to end.

1/4





Jack and Jill

Probably one of the few movies I'd ever refer to as an abortion

0/4



Just Go with It

You know how movies advertised as romantic comedies generally lead people into thinking there's a sense of romance or even some humor? Well, those people will have the rug pulled out from under them in Just Go with It, a movie that miraculously manages to contain not even 1% of comedy or romance.

Danny (Adam Sandler) is a dickhead who pretends he's in an awful marriage in order to attract other women. His latest conquest; Palmer (Brooklyn Decker) is totally into him...until she finds his ring. In order to trick her into thinking everything is okay, he has his receptionist; Katherine (Jennifer Aniston) pretend to be divorcing him and has her children go along with his stupid story in order to make her think that everything is okay. After the group eventually ends up in Hawaii, Katherine runs into an old frenemy; Devlin (Nicole Kidman), where she tries to convince her that she and Danny are a happy couple.

One of the basic problems with Just Go with It is that it's so ridiculously unfunny at times it's painful to watch. Not one laugh worthy moment in its' entire almost TWO HOUR LENGTH. Literally. Nothing is funny. The script is awful and the things that come out of the main characters' mouths, especially Danny's cousin; Eddie (Nick Swardson) are absolutely absurd that anyone on planet Earth would find this shit funny. Even Jennifer Aniston's charisma is totally flushed down the toilet based on the completely charmless and humorless things she is forced to say.

And seriously, isn't this like Adam Sandler's 10000th movie about some type of amateurish and contrived attempt to avoid commitment? In 50 First Dates, his crush has memory problems. In Click, he uses a remote control for his own selfish purposes while pushing his family and wife away. In I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, he pretends to be gay while falling for someone involved in his lie. In Anger Management, he has tons of anger problems and his therapist screws with him. This formula of juvenile and crass humor topped off with a bit of hokey, gooey, contrived attempts at having a heart just don't work. Adam Sandler plays the exact same character in every movie with similar problems about love, relationships, and commitment following right behind him. The formula is stale and generally lacks any real type of romance or sense of humor.

You can see everything coming in Just Go with It a mile before it shows up. The awkward contrivances that follow the main characters' snowballed lie, the scene where they both "realize" that while faking a romance, they're actually developing one in the process, the scene where Katherine and her arch rival; Devlin actually bond over sincerities and drop the lies to form a real frendship. It's all here sadly. Not one thing in Just Go with It can't be seen from intelligent (or hell, even comatose) life on other planets. And because of how trite and predictable the whole movie is, the events just don't feel like they have any ounce of a genuine nature to them. At times it feels like a really old sitcom that you're watching about the wacky situations people get into with love matters.

Just Go with It just really struggles to provide anything new or humorous. The formula of finding love in an unexpected place has been done since the cavemen were found on the lawn, except it's been done so much better in so many different movies. The writing is crass, unfunny, and just juvenile and trashy overall. Just Go with It just reaks of a poor attempt to cash in on Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler's fame. There's a running joke about how the name Devlin is equivalent to shit for Katherine's children in this movie. Just Go with Devlin would have been the perfect title for this piece of Devlin.

0/4