Top Whore-Ers of the 2000's

Much better decade for the genre! So much so, that I am deciding to do a top 5 (or possibly more) depending on the year. Leggo




2000
5. Final Destination
4. Unbreakable
3. Ginger Snaps
2. The Gift
1. American Psycho


Not a bad start up for the decade! A pretty respectable top 5, Final Destination was the start of one of the hugest franchises of the decade, Unbreakable continued the streak of Shamaylan's success, Ginger Snaps has to be one of the best werewolf movies ever, and The Gift is such an underrated joy. But in the end, for sheep depravity and a balls to the walls performance by Christian Bale, I couldn't help but run with American Psycho.










2001
5. Jeepers Creepers
4. May
3. The Others
2. Donnie Darko
1. Frailty


This was such a great year, maybe I'm biased as Fuck and a lot of it was trash but this was the year my parents started letting me see a lot of these movies so screw it. Frailty was a no-brainer for me though, the twist alone gets me every time.








2002
5. Cabin Fever
4. Panic Room
3. Signs
2. The Ring
1. 28 Days Later


This was a stellar year as looking through, I could have easily tacked on another good 5 movies that I was proud to list. 28 Days Later gave invention and life back to a genre that is rather dead (major pun intended) so I can't not vote that one.










2003
5. Wrong Turn
4. Freddy Vs. Jason
3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2. High Tension
1. House of 1000 Corpses


Another great year! I had such a blast seeing these and many more this year. House of 1000 Corpses was pure nightmare fuel from beginning to end and therefore was my horse to back.








2004
5. Secret Window
4. Saw
3. Open Water
2. Shaun of the Dead
1. Dawn of the Dead


I can't believe the original Saw is 16 fucking years old. Jesus. Another awesome year, but when I think of near perfect remakes, Dawn of the Dead immediately comes to mind.









2005
5. Wolf Creek
4. The Devil's Rejects
3. Hostel
2. War of the Worlds
1. The Descent


How can it not be The Descent? Claustrophobia, paranoia, physical danger, the movie really touched on more than one type of fear and it did it all with such brauva.








2006
5. The Hills Have Eyes
4. Saw III
3. Hatchet
2. Bug
1. Pan's Labyrinth


Probably such a cliched choice but I can't help, Pan's Labyrinth really won me over and similar to The Descent, really touched on several different types of features and did it with such a beauty.






2007
05. The Poughkeepsie Tapes
04. Sweeney Todd
03. Grindhouse
02. Trick R' Treat
01. REC


THIS IS THE YEAR! If I had to guide anyone to a variety of movies based on the year they came out, I'd happily and easily refer them here. There was even a good 5-6 options I left off that I was bummed about. Tough call, but REC
was a 75 min heart attack.



2008
5. The Ruins
4. Eden Lake
3. Midnight Meat Train
2. The Strangers
1. Lake Mungo


Maybe I was a bit spoiled by the previous year, but this one just felt....meh. Lake Mungo, on the contrary to Trick R' Treat, took a genre that I am NOT a huge fan of (the found footage/documentary genre) and really made it feel authentic and chilling all at once, and I'm not just talking about THAT scene




2009
5. Sorority Row
4. Splice
3. Orphan
2. Dead Snow
1. Drag Me To Hell


A pretty fair way to end the decade! A lot of remakes this year, most of which were hits others were....choices. Drag Me To Hell felt like a rollercoaster from beginning to end, inventive, fun, and proof that you can be a boss with a PG-13 rating.

Top dogs *Non horror* : 2000-2009

2000

3. Chicken Run

2. Best In Show

1. Requiem For A Dream 

2001

3. Ghost World

2. Monsters, Inc.

1. Moulin Rouge

2002

3. Gangs of New York

2. About Schmidt

1. Chicago

2003

3. Kill Bill

2. Finding Nemo

1. Thirteen

2004

3. Finding Neverland

2. Eternal Sunshine

1. Million Dollar Baby

2005

3. Brokeback Mountain

2. Crash

1. A History of Violence

2006

3. Notes on a Scandal

2. The Last King of Scotland

1. Little Miss Sunshine

2007

3. No Country for Old Men

2. Eastern Promises

1. Atonement

2008

3. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2. Wall*E

1. Milk

2009

3. Coraline/Precious

2. Up

1. Inglorious Basterds

High Tension





 It seems like foreign horror movies receive the reputation of either being absolutely gruesome, a million times better than American horror movies, or both of the two options. And I have to say, High Tension easily lives up to both of these standards. It’s bloody as hell but still quite effective at being very spine-chilling at the same time.

High Tension is about two semi-lesbianic (yes I’m aware that isn’t a word) friends named Marie and Alexa. While staying at Alexa’s parents’ house one weekend, a male intruder breaks into the house, murders all of Alexa’s family, and then kidnaps her, all of which was viewed by Marie who was hiding under the bed the entire time. Marie is determined to save her friend as she chases down the killer while viewing all the carnage and death he leaves behind him.

                High Tension pulls no punches when it comes to the blood. Every murder pretty much ends in an explosion of blood which is awesome, and from what I’ve read, a few scenes were edited down which actually makes me quite sad that we could have seen worse. But I digress, High Tension doesn’t back down when it comes to showing the gruesome shit on screen, there is very little left to the imagination. People are slashed, throats are slit, people are beheaded by furniture, kids are shot, heads are used as masturbatory aids, and you get the point. This is a huge positive though, gorehounds aren’t into using their imagination to picture what a death in a movie looks like, and they want to see it happen.

                Even though High Tension easily earns its’ R rating in the gore department, I actually would feel like the movie would feel quite menacing without it. The direction is quite clever actually, placing the viewer in the seat of Marie as she is following the killer and her kidnapped friend while he is doing all of this terrible shit to people. It actually makes the viewer feel like they’re in the back of a rollercoaster like Marie would feel in this movie and that’s something easily worthy of recognition. High Tension is solid at making the viewer feel like they are actually there watching everything occur in front of their own eyes.

                As for the controversial ending, I was actually pretty sold by it. Granted, it was completely ridiculous and was taking a similar path to many horror movies today, I still was a fan. This type of resolution is something that can really be sold if the actors are into it, and Cécile de France (the actress who plays Marie) sells the hell out of it.

          High Tension is a solid, thrilling, gruesome film from beginning to end, sold by the direction and strong performances along with a great pace that never lags. Sure it’s ridiculous as hell and if you pick it apart, it doesn’t really make a lick of sense. But that’s what the genre tends to entail, and for utter lunacy, High Tension is a great bet to put your money on.

3/4

The Skeleton Key

Really deserved a bigger following and that ending pulls 0 punches. 

3/4

House of Wax

I'm gonna say something which might surprise a lot of people. A MOVIE FEATURING PARIS HILTON IS ACTUALLY GOOD. Yeah, shocker right? But seriously, for what it is (a.k.a; a movie that won't cure cancer), House of Wax is a pretty fun horror movie that will keep you entertained from beginning to end.

House of Wax is simple enough. Six friends; Carly (Elisha Cuthbert from Girl Next Door), her boyfriend Wade (Jared Padalecki), Blake (Robert Ri'Chard from Cousin Skeeter), Carly's brother Nick (Chad Michael Murray), his friend Dalton (Jon Abrahams), and Blake's girlfriend Paige (Paris Hilton) take a slight detour on the way to a big football game. Eventually they arrive at an area where everything is made of wax, and almost looks a bit...too real. Eventually the group splits up and that's when a pair of brothers decides to start racking up some more wax figures out of the group.

In terms of set design alone, House of Wax is pretty cool. All of the scenes (even the early ones that don't involve killing) are quite menacing and creepy. It actually builds up some potential thrills early on without having to resort to cheap "GOTCHA!" scares. The scenes later on in the movie when the House of Wax begins to melt are pretty badass as well. Very claustrophobic and just bizzare overall.

As far as performances go, pretty standard for the genre actually. No one is completely unwatchable but no one really stands out. Pretty much everyone acts like a fairly good looking mannequin until it's time to well...become a good looking mannequin. No one really stands out among the six but considering some of the kennel club-filled movies in terms of performances...you could do much worse.

Even though it's not a terrifying movie, I would say House of Wax has some pretty good scares. The kills are a bit more inventive and creative then most movies of the genre and at least the death order is slightly unpredictable. Not even gonna lie though, the best death is easily Paris Hilton's. What a way to go.

House of Wax won't be changing any lives but I would say it's a solid entry into the gore-filled franchise. Director Jaume Collet-Serra knows what the fans want and how to give it to them. Tons of gore, some humor, and a story that's fair enough to not completely piss people off but isn't distracting enough to get in the way of the bloodshed that someone who goes to a movie called "House of Wax" expects to see. Just don't expect a miracle. And pray that the GIANT hint at a sequel was a joke. Only so many times someone can visit a house of wax before it burns down to the ground and kills everyone in it. Just saying.

3/4

Wolf Creek

The creepiest movies are those which can actually happen in real life. And that is part of the appeal in Wolf Creek, a disturbing, frightening, yet oddly beautiful Aussie horror movie.

Wolf Creek has a simple yet effective premise. Three tourists are traveling throughout Austrailia when they encounter some technical problems. Nothing works. Their watches, the car. Nothing. So they allow a friendly man passing in the area to tow their car and take them to his area in the meantime. The tourists are amazed with their good luck and grateful for it, until they wake up in the morning and realize....they have the shittiest luck ever.

One of the perks of Wolf Creek lies in the performances. First off, I didn't recognize any of the lead actors in this which is pretty beneficial. It's cool being able to watch someone on screen and not have the million other movies that they have done in the back of your head at the same time. All three of the tourists' performances are pretty damn awesome. They actually perform as real people. Not ducks to be lined up and shot in a row. You actually really like them and dread the moment that they will meet their enemy (played with all the nasty, toxic, harmful attributes that you would want in a killer, by John Jarratt). Not one of these performances comes off as an actor giving their reading as a person. You're just watching people in a fucked up situation.

Now for the shit everyone wants to see in a horror movie; the murders. Let me just say that even though there aren't that many (I only counted three total), none of them go by quickly without pain and extreme tension surrounding them. Mick Taylor (what a cool name for a killer) really enjoys this shit. It's disturbing. At times when he's fucking with the tourists you swear that you just stumbled into a snuff film about some horrific crime. The killing scenes are brutal, bloody, and at times...very hard to watch. Wolf Creek will surprise you with the order of their deaths (and how they go down) and it will shock you with the raw carnage that is displayed in front of your eyes.

Another thing I really loved about Wolf Creek was the cinematography. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. At times you feel that you're in another world which might have even been the director's approach. Even when these crimes are going on, the outside surroundings and the lighting used almost make the movie seem like a painting in motion. A fucked up painting, probably created by someone like Tarantino, but hey...art is fucked up at times.

Wolf Creek is a nasty, disturbing movie that will stay in your brain for a while. It doesn't feel like a movie when looking back. It just seems like a really shitty situation that was displayed for the public to view. And that is more frightening then anything in this world; real life.

3/4