Promising Young Woman

Best movie of 2020 and this should have been the year of OsCarey Winnigan. I said what I said. 

4/4

 

Antebellum

Riddle me this....

1) Why the Fuck does Jena Malone sound like Beverley Leslie in this?

2) Why does this movie feel like a waltz, a twerk and a line dance? So many genres 

3) Did they really think people weren't gonna roast that ending as an even sillier version of The -------?

2/4

 

Anything for Jackson

 

Slaps the dog shit out of what is imo become a dog shit genre of horror

3/4

Top Dogs: 2020-2029

 2020

3. Possessor

2. Soul

1. Promising Young Woman

2021

3. House of Gucci

2. Malignant

1. Last Night in Soho

2022

3. Spoiler Alert

2. The Menu

1. Glass Onion 

2023

3. May December

2. Poor Things

1. Barbie

2024

3. Woman of the Hour

2. Nosferatu

1. Wicked

The Devil All the Time

Soooo was UnPleasantville already taken as a title? Really fascinating look at everything ugly about religion. And we can all agree that the real devil all the time was the person who created that spider scene AmIrite?

3/4

The Babysitter: Killer Queen

 Like everything and everyone else in the world, it could have used **SPOILER** more Samara Weaving, but it still retains the loveable crackhead energy of the original regardless. 

3/4

The New Mutants

 Not as bad as we were expecting (maybe even anticipating), but the whole thing just feels like a big bowl of ice cream that's been left out for too long and stirred with by the creators too many times. 

2/4

1BR

 Why do white girls named Sara(h) have a fetish for getting themselves into some Shit?? Kind of felt like the lovechild of The Invitation and Channel Zero: Butcher's Block...minus the cannibalism...sadly. 

If you have to guess which side of the fence I'm on by that description clearly this is your first review of mine you are reading. 

3/4

Vivarium

 It's a little bottle rocket that zips down the street for 90 minutes but never rises above that to soar. 

2/4

The Night Clerk

Well, light as a feather is usually a compliment, but this movie needed the weight and meat of the bird that it's lacking. This cast deserved a Turkey. 

2/4

We Summon the Darkness

 Sort of fun, mainly thanks to Daddario, but wins the award for worst timing ever. The phrase is pull the rug out from UNDER the audience, not 50 feet away from them. 

2/4

Gretel & Hansel

The whole thing just feels like a 90 min stretch to a workout that isn't coming. That's all doe??!

1/4

The Lodge

You know how in Spongebob when Patrick had the idea to take Bikini Bottom and move it somewhere else? Well, can I take Riley Keough's performance and move it into a less anemic version of Hereditary?

2/4

The Invisible Man

Sigh. Easily the best movie I saw in what has unfortunately been a short cinematic year. Elizabeth Moss is stellar and just one of many recent performances that make me wish we had some type of prestigious awards ceremony for just horror movies and their performances as well. She's really great. And I liked how they tied in the elements of supernatural and mental as well. Not only does she have to worry about her ex who committed suicide coming after her in invisible form, she has to worry about the state of her mental health due to the lack of support from anyone around her. Because of course this is that type of scenario where someone swears something is going on and everyone and their mother unintentionally (and in some cases intentionally) is gas lighting her, making her question what is real and what is not. Which is in turn more bone chilling then an invisible figure who could cut your throat at a moment's notice (nudge nudge).

3/4

The Hunt

The people that were genuinely offended by this movie are the same fools that are iv'ing each other with disinfectants as we speak, this movie was a fucking riot.

3/4

Fantasy Island

So, I mean we all knew this was gonna be a clusterfuck right? It delivers there at least. Whereas other terrible horror movies are awful while simultaneously taking themselves too seriously, this one at least has the sense to have the actors and screenplay dancing as the Titanic goes down. But in all seriousness, it's a mess. There's way too much going on, the jerky structure has the viewer leaping from one character's fantasy to the next before really getting a reason to care. Add on a conclusion that poorly blends hidden malice along with the supernatural, and you end up with an island that feels like a getaway from satisfaction. 

1/4

The Grudge

So let me tell you a brief history of me and this Shit. So when I first heard about this, I thought....Fuck no. Then I saw the watered down preview and thought oh :).....definitely Fuck no. Then that Damn Redband trailer came along...biggest tease ever, I actually saw a ray of hope. That ray of hope died almost instantly. The whole thing is just raggedy. They have a pretty talented cast and give them jackshit to do. The structure is off as well, there's 3 stories they cut in and out of, but because of what's the most recent story you have an idea of how the other two will end. They also change the origin of the curse and there's no ending. Fuck this mess. 

1/4

Top 15 of 2020

Here's hoping we have a great year! Here's my 15 most anticipated of the year

1. Halloween Kills

2. The Witches

3. Candyman

4. Tenet

5. Last Night in Soho

6. Death on the Nile

7. Antlers

8. Antebellum

9. Woman in the Window

10. Dune

11. The Lodge
12. Promising Young Woman

13. The Grudge

14. Come to Daddy

15. Invisible Man