Friend Request

           Ugh. What did we do in a past life to receive such a constant shipping of stale, uninspired horror movies? Like a good amount of media in recent times, Friend Request markets itself as movie dipped in the horrors of social media. But unfortunately, the execution here feels so half-assed and distant it's as if we're reporting on a pool of a story by sticking our toes in. Or even walking by a deadly animal in the zoo and hoping it explains why it's so deadly. The recent film "Unfriended" also had themes of evils on social media coming to bite us in the spirit form, but at least that movie gave us something to chew on in terms of the way we can treat people when we are in front of a screen and how those actions can bite back, or in this case kill back. The most fucking frightening thing that happens here in the social media scenes is being unable to delete the "antagonist" after she commits suicide due to the way the "protagonist" and her friends treat her and begins to stalk them. And I use quotes around the words protagonist and antagonist for good reason; who the fuck are we supposed to be rooting for, or even against in this movie? Are we on the side of the bland villain, contradicting olden horror movie days when we were supposed to be against the big baddie? Are we on the side of the even blander protagonist and all of her friends? Who all happen to look about 15 years too old to register as young college students. That's the issue here, there's really no perspective or insight here into the horrors of which side we are on, which makes the even more stock loud noises, bangs, and poorly visualized evil faces as the antagonist comes after the protagonist and company more of a nuisance then anything. You know what's an even more daunting part of social media than friend requests? This movie's process of searching and searching for a point to it all and having your search engine say "Sorry not found".

1/4

Lady Bird

My favorite movies are the ones that you learn something from especially if that something pertains to your own life. Lady Bird hits that nail on the head without ever coming off as disingenuous or contrived. One of my favorite scenes is one in which a supporting character states her theory that love and attention are the same which echoes throughout the tone of the film. The relationship between the title character and her mother is so genuine I imagine it difficult for anyone not to feel reminiscent of how they interacted with their parents in youth. This isn't a movie all about the grand moments of life, but the smaller ones that build up to something much more plentiful as we veer into adulthood. The performances from Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalf are stellar, the film really lives or dies on their dynamic relationship of unconditional love even when it's next to impossible to include "unconditional like" in it as well. If the movie's overall message of love and attention being synonymous rings true, then Lady Bird is more than deserving of any viewer's unconditional attention.

4/4

Wish Upon

You'll never see any of the twists coming; said if those who have never seen a movie before. Nothing here feels remotely fresh and I felt like the creators let the PG-13 rating stifle its' own creativity. My wish; that Wish Upon grew a pair and escaped a formulaic screenplay. 

2/4

The Girl on the Train

       I had huge hopes for this one, coming off of Gone Girl, most had expected a masterpiece. Sadly, this one let me down a bit. It pulls off that moody, atmosepheric vibe well and it is definitely a new type of role for Emily Blunt, playing the sad sack, non-glam, non desired alcoholic mess. However, what held me back from giving this a similar ranking to the far superior Gone Girl is the conclusion. YOu can't unsee the ending from a mile away as there may as well be giant Red arrows pointing to who the culprit is. Where as Gone Girl took twists and turns with how the story played out, unfortunately this train is a bit too straight-edged from beginning to end.

3/4

The Witch

       This was an absolutely outstanding effort and felt like such a fresh breath of Horror air. I had high hopes from all the advanced screenings and it never let me down. Even though shit splatters and hits the fan in the last 20 minutes, what is most unsettling about this is the family dynamic that occurs as the element of conflict and chaos ensue. When terror strikes, who can you really trust? What will people around you, even those considered close do to save their own asses? The scariest movies in my opinion aren't the ones with vampires, zombies, or mass murderers who just won't die despite being slayed in every entry. It's the human elements that I find to be the most bone chilling, as you find that those around you morph into these creatures that you have never experienced before, but ones that strike to the core when panic and desperation take over. Let The Witch cast a spell on you, as you will find yourself entranced up until the credits roll.

4/4

Hellbent

A pretty cast can't disguise a screenplay that is hellbent on avoiding suspense.

1/4

Most Likely to Die

You know what is most likely to die? Any interest in this movie after 5 minutes.

0/4