Incident in a Ghostland

Was sort of expecting basic bitch slasher, but it goes in a few different directions that has me shook. Lovely, and a bit sad.

3/4

 

Climax

As stimulating and involving as showing up 2 hours late to a drunken party, Climax will give you none of the sort. 

1/4

 

What Keeps You Alive

 "I don't know and I don't care" is one of my favorite replies but least favorite feelings about lead characters. That issue drives this down from a nail biter to a nail tapper. 

2/4

A Simple Favor

Just as scrumdiddlyumptious as Gone Girl but better dressed and more lolzy.

3/4

Top Whore-Ers of the 2010's

2010
5. The Crazies
4. Insidious
3. Shutter Island
2. Let Me In
1. Black Swan

Great way to start off the decade! It's an easy choice for Black Swan, but Let Me In was beautiful and the other three were batshit nuts as well.

2011
5. Absentia
4. Final Destination 5
3. Scream 4
2. You're Next
1. The Skin I Live In

Finally I'm not choosing the popular choice! The Skin I Live In was brilliant and just gets more demented the more it unravels.

2012
5. Maniac
4. Excision
3. Sinister
2. Frankenweenie
1. Cabin in the Woods

Me putting an animated movie on just for having elements of horror should show you what I think of this year in a nutshell. It couldn't be anything but Cabin in the Woods though.

2013
5. Curse of Chucky
4. Carrie
3. Green Inferno
2. Oculus
1. The Conjuring

As much as they've played out The Conjuring/Nun/Annabelle/Daughter's Niece's sister of Annabelle franchise, The Conjuring was the perfect jump scare movie, a cinematic roller coaster that doesn't ease up.

2014
5. The Guest
4. Housebound
3. The Babadook
2. Starry Eyes
1. It Follows

Can I please just list my top 3 all as one movie? No. Okay then, It Follows wins by a hair. And HM to Zombeavers, shut up, it was hilarious.


2015
5. The Invitation
4. The Final Girls
3. The Blackoat's Daughter
2. Southbound
1. The Witch

Year of the slow burn right? I'd say everything but The Final Girls falls into that category. Despite the super natural elements, I felt that The Witch perfectly demonstrated the greatest and most prevalent form of evil that there is; fucking people.

2016
5. Split
4. Hush
3. Raw
2. Train to Busan
1. The Neon Demon

I kind of love that two of my top 5 are foreign films, and one barely includes any dialogue at all. Language diversity! You should know by now I love rabbit down the hole in the pursuit of success movies and couldn't ride with anything else but The Neon Demon.

2017
05. Anna and the Apocalypse
04. Shape of Water
03. It
02. Get Out
01. The Killing of A Sacred Deer

This was a terrific year! I'll probably expand this into a top 10 once I see a few more things on my watch list. Update on my #1! TKOASD rattled me to the bone unlike no other.

2018

5. Unsane
4. Incident in a Ghostland
3. Terrified
2. Sharp Objects
1. Hereditary

This was a pretty fair year overall, yes I am cheating by putting a mini-series @ number 2, but fuck it, watch that show and tell me it didn't fill you with more dread than just about anything that came out that year. Hereditary was a complete shit show from beginning to end (in the best way possible), and therefore gets my vote.

2019
5. The Perfection
4. Us
3. Ready or Not
2. The Lighthouse
1. Midsommar

I feel like this was the year for return masterpieces as 3 of these films were directed by directors that made recent previous lists. Tough call between my top 3 as one is one of the most fun of the decade and two are some of the most unforgettable. Midsommar grabbed me harder than any feature this year, and for that I tip my hat.

Suspiria

You can have the beauty and gusto of a dancer but struggle if your structure is too flabby, "It's all a mess" 

2/4

The final countdown of 2018

The last 4 months of the year are 9/10 times my favorite time of the year for movies. Let's hope these 10 movies that I'm most anticipating don't fuck it up....

10. Widows (11/16)

09. Halloween (10/19)

08. Serenity (10/19)

07. First Man (10/12)

06. Under the Silver Lake (12/7)

05. Suspiria (11/2)

04. A Simple Favor (9/13)

03. Beautiful Boy (10/12)

02. A Star Is Born (10/5)

01. Bad Times at the El Royale (10/5)

2018 in review

Hereditary

This one showed a lot of promise from the initial previews and luckily it didn't disappoint. It really deserves to be seen in theaters as an experience, this type of slow burn deserves a big screen viewing. It's not nearly as in your face Bullshit like as some would hope but it's actually quite unsettling especially when reflecting on it all at the end. Toni Collette stars as a woman who has just lost her Mother, and as result, loses her Shit as well as she is in the complicated process of grieving yet also worrying what internal (and possibly external) demons are out to play now that the matriarch of the bunch is gone. Suffice it to say, Shit hits the fan and the family will never be the same again. I think of The Babadook as Hereditary deals with similar themes of loss and depression often forming as the scariest monsters of all, but fear not, there are other monsters waiting to rear their heads as well. I also think of Babadook when I think of the movie really succeeding or failing based on the success of the lead actress. And Toni Collette isn't fucking around here, she's a one woman haunted house for the entire movie. This is the rare type of movie that gives me the feelings that I wish more horror movies did; the second thought of wondering if all the doors are locked before I go to sleep.

4/4

Incredibles II

Let's be real on two things; first of all, no one expected this one to surpass the original, right? And furthermore, no one gave as fuck as we've all been waiting for this movie for 14 years, right? Exactly. The whole movie is like a cinematic family reunion with a family that no true Disney fan can forget. It's definitely not beating the original at all. The movie is split into two movies; a majority of which is focusing on Ms. Incredible and her battles with new villains over the story of Mr. Incredible and his family battles at home to just keep the family's Shit together. The latter of which ringing more true to the tone of the first movie. The heart has definitely made a bit of room for the pulse as no CGI explosion goes unused, but all the wit and the humor is still in the body as well so who am I to roast?

3/4

The First Purge

Good lord. If Hereditary makes me wonder about the doors being locked, The First Purge makes all those cares float away as no thief or villain can rob me the way this movie did of 90 minutes. It's all the same Shit as the others, only difference here is that this one is claimed to be as the first by having the main setting be in a smaller area; a lower income, mainly minority area that the Government seems to give no Fucks about. Detect the shade? Detect the truth? If you don't, fear not as this movie is about as subtle as the hammer you wish was slamming into your heads to distract from the inane script and spoof worthy performances. Keep on taking the slight promise we had in the beginning and slamming it down like this, I guarantee the next purge will be taking place in the theaters that show these movies.

1/4

Top dogs *Non Horror*: 2010-2019

2010

3. Toy Story 3

2. The Social Network

1. Blue Valentine

2011

3. Drive

2. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

1. Moneyball

2012

3. Silver Linings Playbook/Zero Dark Thirty

2. Life of Pi

1. Django Unchained

2013

3. About Time

2. The Wolf of Wall Street

1. 12 Years A Slave

2014

3. Gone Girl

2. A Most Violent Year

1. Nightcrawler

2015

3. Room

2. Spotlight

1. Inside Out

2016

3. Arrival

2. La La Land

1. Moonlight

2017

3. Call Me by Your Name/Coco

2. Lady Bird

1. I, Tonya

2018

3. A Simple Favor

2. BlacKkKlansman

1. Eighth Grade

2019

3. Booksmart

2. Knives Out

1. Joker