Body at Brighton Rock

Once "Point of No Return" ends the movie follows the same direction. Goes for slow burn but turns into forest fire. 1/4

3 From Hell

The real 3 from Hell are the ones who decided to turn all this into a fucking sitcom. Feels more like RuPaul Zombie then Rob Zombie, his worst movie to date. 

1/4

Bliss

It's like if The Neon Demon and Requiem for a Dream had a baby that gave no reasons to care about it

1/4

 

The Beach House

 A big, soggy mess that tries to dry itself off with a nutty conclusion long after any fucks remain. 

1/4

Z

More like zzzzzzz in terms of resonance but it has a few good jump scares and easily the most unintentionally hilarious wedding ever. 

2/4

Tigers Are Not Afraid

 A really beautiful movie about really ugly situations. And yes, this is pretty much the most GDT inspired movie ever that wasn't made by him. Cue the awful pun ahead, but I present.... Guillermo Del Sorrow. 

3/4

Top Whore-Ers of the 2010's

2010
5. The Crazies
4. Insidious
3. Shutter Island
2. Let Me In
1. Black Swan

Great way to start off the decade! It's an easy choice for Black Swan, but Let Me In was beautiful and the other three were batshit nuts as well.

2011
5. Absentia
4. Final Destination 5
3. Scream 4
2. You're Next
1. The Skin I Live In

Finally I'm not choosing the popular choice! The Skin I Live In was brilliant and just gets more demented the more it unravels.

2012
5. Maniac
4. Excision
3. Sinister
2. Frankenweenie
1. Cabin in the Woods

Me putting an animated movie on just for having elements of horror should show you what I think of this year in a nutshell. It couldn't be anything but Cabin in the Woods though.

2013
5. Curse of Chucky
4. Carrie
3. Green Inferno
2. Oculus
1. The Conjuring

As much as they've played out The Conjuring/Nun/Annabelle/Daughter's Niece's sister of Annabelle franchise, The Conjuring was the perfect jump scare movie, a cinematic roller coaster that doesn't ease up.

2014
5. The Guest
4. Housebound
3. The Babadook
2. Starry Eyes
1. It Follows

Can I please just list my top 3 all as one movie? No. Okay then, It Follows wins by a hair. And HM to Zombeavers, shut up, it was hilarious.


2015
5. The Invitation
4. The Final Girls
3. The Blackoat's Daughter
2. Southbound
1. The Witch

Year of the slow burn right? I'd say everything but The Final Girls falls into that category. Despite the super natural elements, I felt that The Witch perfectly demonstrated the greatest and most prevalent form of evil that there is; fucking people.

2016
5. Split
4. Hush
3. Raw
2. Train to Busan
1. The Neon Demon

I kind of love that two of my top 5 are foreign films, and one barely includes any dialogue at all. Language diversity! You should know by now I love rabbit down the hole in the pursuit of success movies and couldn't ride with anything else but The Neon Demon.

2017
05. Anna and the Apocalypse
04. Shape of Water
03. It
02. Get Out
01. The Killing of A Sacred Deer

This was a terrific year! I'll probably expand this into a top 10 once I see a few more things on my watch list. Update on my #1! TKOASD rattled me to the bone unlike no other.

2018

5. Unsane
4. Incident in a Ghostland
3. Terrified
2. Sharp Objects
1. Hereditary

This was a pretty fair year overall, yes I am cheating by putting a mini-series @ number 2, but fuck it, watch that show and tell me it didn't fill you with more dread than just about anything that came out that year. Hereditary was a complete shit show from beginning to end (in the best way possible), and therefore gets my vote.

2019
5. The Perfection
4. Us
3. Ready or Not
2. The Lighthouse
1. Midsommar

I feel like this was the year for return masterpieces as 3 of these films were directed by directors that made recent previous lists. Tough call between my top 3 as one is one of the most fun of the decade and two are some of the most unforgettable. Midsommar grabbed me harder than any feature this year, and for that I tip my hat.

The Lighthouse

Wow. Just wow. Horror can be a genre which, in my opinion, is that one that can be the most thought provoking of them all. It's been almost a week since I've seen this and I'm still just wondering...how? Worth a view for anyone who enjoys slow burns that know when to hit, the director once again knocks it out of the park (previous film was The Witch which as you can see, I adored) . Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe deserve lifetime achievement awards, and this movie has permanently fucked up my opinion on mermaids, seagulls, and anything related to the sea.

3/4 (so close to being a 4)

Midsommar

Really feels like the type of movie you need to have a cigarette after. Feels like a nervous breakdown the entire time and Florence Pugh is a revelation here. 

4/4

Satanic Panic

Has some clever touches but sacrifices higher success by trying to hard to achieve more of them 

2/4

Hustlers

Well this movie was...disappointing as Shit. After all the talk I heard about this being a female Goodfellas I was let down. It just feels like it never takes off or catches fire, similar to a stove where you hear the gas click but not the flame ignite. Maybe part of it was my ignorance on what actually happened, but I felt like the whole thing was just uninvolving as Shit. There was some humor that worked and I did think the cast had chemistry but no one immensely stood out (although I will say JLO's Criminal dance is award worthy albeit not Oscar worthy). In the end though, I'mma hustled baby

2/4

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

A big ol scarecrow of a movie; slightly creepy but overall too flimsy and overstuffed to not fall apart.

2/4

Pet Sematary

Competent, but lifeless, as if the script was buried and never resurrected before it hit the screen

2/4

The Prodigy

Only feels like a prodigy in the form of unoriginality, as the whole thing feels Frankensteined together from pieces of much better movies. 

1/4

Escape Room

Starts off with promise, but by the end it shoots for Cube and ends up at square

2/4

Come on 2019

I'm still working on my lists for 2018, but in the meantime here are my most anticipated movies of 2019...please don't fuck this up.

05. Joker
04. Us/Midsommar/3 From Hell (3 way tie ahh)
03. It: Chapter 2
02. Toy Story 4
01. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Top dogs *Non Horror*: 2010-2019

2010

3. Toy Story 3

2. The Social Network

1. Blue Valentine

2011

3. Drive

2. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

1. Moneyball

2012

3. Silver Linings Playbook/Zero Dark Thirty

2. Life of Pi

1. Django Unchained

2013

3. About Time

2. The Wolf of Wall Street

1. 12 Years A Slave

2014

3. Gone Girl

2. A Most Violent Year

1. Nightcrawler

2015

3. Room

2. Spotlight

1. Inside Out

2016

3. Arrival

2. La La Land

1. Moonlight

2017

3. Call Me by Your Name/Coco

2. Lady Bird

1. I, Tonya

2018

3. A Simple Favor

2. BlacKkKlansman

1. Eighth Grade

2019

3. Booksmart

2. Knives Out

1. Joker