Sort of fun, mainly thanks to Daddario, but wins the award for worst timing ever. The phrase is pull the rug out from UNDER the audience, not 50 feet away from them.
2/4
Wednesday, August 19, 2020
Sunday, July 12, 2020
Excision
Aka Lizzie McGuire's worst day ever. Really involving from beginning to end and that end is a kick to the every reproductive organ you can find.
3/4
Top Whore-Ers of the 2010's
2010
5. The Crazies
4. Insidious
3. Shutter Island
2. Let Me In
1. Black Swan
Great way to start off the decade! It's an easy choice for Black Swan, but Let Me In was beautiful and the other three were batshit nuts as well.
2011
5. Absentia
4. Final Destination 5
3. Scream 4
2. You're Next
1. The Skin I Live In
Finally I'm not choosing the popular choice! The Skin I Live In was brilliant and just gets more demented the more it unravels.
2012
5. Maniac
4. Excision
3. Sinister
2. Frankenweenie
1. Cabin in the Woods
Me putting an animated movie on just for having elements of horror should show you what I think of this year in a nutshell. It couldn't be anything but Cabin in the Woods though.
2013
5. Curse of Chucky
4. Carrie
3. Green Inferno
2. Oculus
1. The Conjuring
As much as they've played out The Conjuring/Nun/Annabelle/Daughter's Niece's sister of Annabelle franchise, The Conjuring was the perfect jump scare movie, a cinematic roller coaster that doesn't ease up.
2014
5. The Guest
4. Housebound
3. The Babadook
2. Starry Eyes
1. It Follows
Can I please just list my top 3 all as one movie? No. Okay then, It Follows wins by a hair. And HM to Zombeavers, shut up, it was hilarious.
2015
5. The Invitation
4. The Final Girls
3. The Blackoat's Daughter
2. Southbound
1. The Witch
Year of the slow burn right? I'd say everything but The Final Girls falls into that category. Despite the super natural elements, I felt that The Witch perfectly demonstrated the greatest and most prevalent form of evil that there is; fucking people.
2016
5. Split
4. Hush
3. Raw
2. Train to Busan
1. The Neon Demon
I kind of love that two of my top 5 are foreign films, and one barely includes any dialogue at all. Language diversity! You should know by now I love rabbit down the hole in the pursuit of success movies and couldn't ride with anything else but The Neon Demon.
2017
05. Anna and the Apocalypse
04. Shape of Water
03. It
02. Get Out
01. The Killing of A Sacred Deer
This was a terrific year! I'll probably expand this into a top 10 once I see a few more things on my watch list. Update on my #1! TKOASD rattled me to the bone unlike no other.
2018
5. The Crazies
4. Insidious
3. Shutter Island
2. Let Me In
1. Black Swan
Great way to start off the decade! It's an easy choice for Black Swan, but Let Me In was beautiful and the other three were batshit nuts as well.
2011
5. Absentia
4. Final Destination 5
3. Scream 4
2. You're Next
1. The Skin I Live In
Finally I'm not choosing the popular choice! The Skin I Live In was brilliant and just gets more demented the more it unravels.
2012
5. Maniac
4. Excision
3. Sinister
2. Frankenweenie
1. Cabin in the Woods
Me putting an animated movie on just for having elements of horror should show you what I think of this year in a nutshell. It couldn't be anything but Cabin in the Woods though.
2013
5. Curse of Chucky
4. Carrie
3. Green Inferno
2. Oculus
1. The Conjuring
As much as they've played out The Conjuring/Nun/Annabelle/Daughter's Niece's sister of Annabelle franchise, The Conjuring was the perfect jump scare movie, a cinematic roller coaster that doesn't ease up.
2014
5. The Guest
4. Housebound
3. The Babadook
2. Starry Eyes
1. It Follows
Can I please just list my top 3 all as one movie? No. Okay then, It Follows wins by a hair. And HM to Zombeavers, shut up, it was hilarious.
2015
5. The Invitation
4. The Final Girls
3. The Blackoat's Daughter
2. Southbound
1. The Witch
Year of the slow burn right? I'd say everything but The Final Girls falls into that category. Despite the super natural elements, I felt that The Witch perfectly demonstrated the greatest and most prevalent form of evil that there is; fucking people.
2016
5. Split
4. Hush
3. Raw
2. Train to Busan
1. The Neon Demon
I kind of love that two of my top 5 are foreign films, and one barely includes any dialogue at all. Language diversity! You should know by now I love rabbit down the hole in the pursuit of success movies and couldn't ride with anything else but The Neon Demon.
2017
05. Anna and the Apocalypse
04. Shape of Water
03. It
02. Get Out
01. The Killing of A Sacred Deer
This was a terrific year! I'll probably expand this into a top 10 once I see a few more things on my watch list. Update on my #1! TKOASD rattled me to the bone unlike no other.
2018
5. Unsane
4. Incident in a Ghostland
3. Terrified
2. Sharp Objects
1. Hereditary
This was a pretty fair year overall, yes I am cheating by putting a mini-series @ number 2, but fuck it, watch that show and tell me it didn't fill you with more dread than just about anything that came out that year. Hereditary was a complete shit show from beginning to end (in the best way possible), and therefore gets my vote.
2019
5. The Perfection
4. Us
3. Ready or Not
2. The Lighthouse
1. Midsommar
I feel like this was the year for return masterpieces as 3 of these films were directed by directors that made recent previous lists. Tough call between my top 3 as one is one of the most fun of the decade and two are some of the most unforgettable. Midsommar grabbed me harder than any feature this year, and for that I tip my hat.
4. Incident in a Ghostland
3. Terrified
2. Sharp Objects
1. Hereditary
This was a pretty fair year overall, yes I am cheating by putting a mini-series @ number 2, but fuck it, watch that show and tell me it didn't fill you with more dread than just about anything that came out that year. Hereditary was a complete shit show from beginning to end (in the best way possible), and therefore gets my vote.
2019
5. The Perfection
4. Us
3. Ready or Not
2. The Lighthouse
1. Midsommar
I feel like this was the year for return masterpieces as 3 of these films were directed by directors that made recent previous lists. Tough call between my top 3 as one is one of the most fun of the decade and two are some of the most unforgettable. Midsommar grabbed me harder than any feature this year, and for that I tip my hat.
Saturday, June 27, 2020
Top Whore-Ers of the 2000's
Much better decade for the genre! So much so, that I am deciding to do a top 5 (or possibly more) depending on the year. Leggo
2000
5. Final Destination
4. Unbreakable
3. Ginger Snaps
2. The Gift
1. American Psycho
Not a bad start up for the decade! A pretty respectable top 5, Final Destination was the start of one of the hugest franchises of the decade, Unbreakable continued the streak of Shamaylan's success, Ginger Snaps has to be one of the best werewolf movies ever, and The Gift is such an underrated joy. But in the end, for sheep depravity and a balls to the walls performance by Christian Bale, I couldn't help but run with American Psycho.
2001
5. Jeepers Creepers
4. May
3. The Others
2. Donnie Darko
1. Frailty
This was such a great year, maybe I'm biased as Fuck and a lot of it was trash but this was the year my parents started letting me see a lot of these movies so screw it. Frailty was a no-brainer for me though, the twist alone gets me every time.
2002
5. Cabin Fever
4. Panic Room
3. Signs
2. The Ring
1. 28 Days Later
This was a stellar year as looking through, I could have easily tacked on another good 5 movies that I was proud to list. 28 Days Later gave invention and life back to a genre that is rather dead (major pun intended) so I can't not vote that one.
2003
5. Wrong Turn
4. Freddy Vs. Jason
3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2. High Tension
1. House of 1000 Corpses
Another great year! I had such a blast seeing these and many more this year. House of 1000 Corpses was pure nightmare fuel from beginning to end and therefore was my horse to back.
2004
5. Secret Window
4. Saw
3. Open Water
2. Shaun of the Dead
1. Dawn of the Dead
I can't believe the original Saw is 16 fucking years old. Jesus. Another awesome year, but when I think of near perfect remakes, Dawn of the Dead immediately comes to mind.
2005
5. Wolf Creek
4. The Devil's Rejects
3. Hostel
2. War of the Worlds
1. The Descent
How can it not be The Descent? Claustrophobia, paranoia, physical danger, the movie really touched on more than one type of fear and it did it all with such brauva.
2006
5. The Hills Have Eyes
4. Saw III
3. Hatchet
2. Bug
1. Pan's Labyrinth
Probably such a cliched choice but I can't help, Pan's Labyrinth really won me over and similar to The Descent, really touched on several different types of features and did it with such a beauty.
2007
05. The Poughkeepsie Tapes
04. Sweeney Todd
03. Grindhouse
02. Trick R' Treat
01. REC
THIS IS THE YEAR! If I had to guide anyone to a variety of movies based on the year they came out, I'd happily and easily refer them here. There was even a good 5-6 options I left off that I was bummed about. Tough call, but REC
was a 75 min heart attack.
2008
5. The Ruins
4. Eden Lake
3. Midnight Meat Train
2. The Strangers
1. Lake Mungo
Maybe I was a bit spoiled by the previous year, but this one just felt....meh. Lake Mungo, on the contrary to Trick R' Treat, took a genre that I am NOT a huge fan of (the found footage/documentary genre) and really made it feel authentic and chilling all at once, and I'm not just talking about THAT scene
2009
5. Sorority Row
4. Splice
3. Orphan
2. Dead Snow
1. Drag Me To Hell
A pretty fair way to end the decade! A lot of remakes this year, most of which were hits others were....choices. Drag Me To Hell felt like a rollercoaster from beginning to end, inventive, fun, and proof that you can be a boss with a PG-13 rating.
2000
5. Final Destination
4. Unbreakable
3. Ginger Snaps
2. The Gift
1. American Psycho
Not a bad start up for the decade! A pretty respectable top 5, Final Destination was the start of one of the hugest franchises of the decade, Unbreakable continued the streak of Shamaylan's success, Ginger Snaps has to be one of the best werewolf movies ever, and The Gift is such an underrated joy. But in the end, for sheep depravity and a balls to the walls performance by Christian Bale, I couldn't help but run with American Psycho.
2001
5. Jeepers Creepers
4. May
3. The Others
2. Donnie Darko
1. Frailty
This was such a great year, maybe I'm biased as Fuck and a lot of it was trash but this was the year my parents started letting me see a lot of these movies so screw it. Frailty was a no-brainer for me though, the twist alone gets me every time.
2002
5. Cabin Fever
4. Panic Room
3. Signs
2. The Ring
1. 28 Days Later
This was a stellar year as looking through, I could have easily tacked on another good 5 movies that I was proud to list. 28 Days Later gave invention and life back to a genre that is rather dead (major pun intended) so I can't not vote that one.
2003
5. Wrong Turn
4. Freddy Vs. Jason
3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2. High Tension
1. House of 1000 Corpses
Another great year! I had such a blast seeing these and many more this year. House of 1000 Corpses was pure nightmare fuel from beginning to end and therefore was my horse to back.
2004
5. Secret Window
4. Saw
3. Open Water
2. Shaun of the Dead
1. Dawn of the Dead
I can't believe the original Saw is 16 fucking years old. Jesus. Another awesome year, but when I think of near perfect remakes, Dawn of the Dead immediately comes to mind.
2005
5. Wolf Creek
4. The Devil's Rejects
3. Hostel
2. War of the Worlds
1. The Descent
How can it not be The Descent? Claustrophobia, paranoia, physical danger, the movie really touched on more than one type of fear and it did it all with such brauva.
2006
5. The Hills Have Eyes
4. Saw III
3. Hatchet
2. Bug
1. Pan's Labyrinth
Probably such a cliched choice but I can't help, Pan's Labyrinth really won me over and similar to The Descent, really touched on several different types of features and did it with such a beauty.
2007
05. The Poughkeepsie Tapes
04. Sweeney Todd
03. Grindhouse
02. Trick R' Treat
01. REC
THIS IS THE YEAR! If I had to guide anyone to a variety of movies based on the year they came out, I'd happily and easily refer them here. There was even a good 5-6 options I left off that I was bummed about. Tough call, but REC
was a 75 min heart attack.
2008
5. The Ruins
4. Eden Lake
3. Midnight Meat Train
2. The Strangers
1. Lake Mungo
Maybe I was a bit spoiled by the previous year, but this one just felt....meh. Lake Mungo, on the contrary to Trick R' Treat, took a genre that I am NOT a huge fan of (the found footage/documentary genre) and really made it feel authentic and chilling all at once, and I'm not just talking about THAT scene
2009
5. Sorority Row
4. Splice
3. Orphan
2. Dead Snow
1. Drag Me To Hell
A pretty fair way to end the decade! A lot of remakes this year, most of which were hits others were....choices. Drag Me To Hell felt like a rollercoaster from beginning to end, inventive, fun, and proof that you can be a boss with a PG-13 rating.
Saturday, June 20, 2020
Gretel & Hansel
The whole thing just feels like a 90 min stretch to a workout that isn't coming. That's all doe??!
1/4
Wednesday, June 10, 2020
The Lodge
You know how in Spongebob when Patrick had the idea to take Bikini Bottom and move it somewhere else? Well, can I take Riley Keough's performance and move it into a less anemic version of Hereditary?
2/4
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