Jurassic World

Mehh. I had high hopes for this one. As expected, everything on a technical level is undeniable. The effects are stellar, the creatures couldn't look better, even the details in the park itself are immaculate. The problem is everything else feels as primitive as the dinosaurs themselves. None of the characters are fascinating or worth caring about at all, Bryce Dallas Howard's character is the cliche stiff and Chris Pratt is playing his Guardians of the Galaxy character except with ludicrous dialogue this time. The child actors are terrible and could have been devoured at any moments, and there's too much stuffing with the subplots going on (the stereotypical romance/strained family relationships). In terms of the look it's fleek but on a personal level it reeks.

2/4

The Lazarus Effect

This one was kind of dead on arrival. There's definitely a lot of talent in the cast, but the whole thing just feels like been there done that. If you're going to steal from the best, make it your own, but sadly this retread about bringing the dead back to life with fatal consequences just doesn't seem to have anything new to say or do in its' mind. The actors are left out to dry until they're picked off, with the exception of Olivia Wilde who is given a tad more to do and should really use this movie as a platform for beauty shots (drinking game every time the camera zooms in on her face). The group of researchers in this movie play with all of the most high tech equipment in the world but no device known to man would be able to pump life into this stale corpse.

1/4

The Gift

This one really caught me by surprise. It's great and what I love about is how the whole time you feel so uneasy watching it without a drop of bloodshed. There's such a great dynamic between the three leads that they're able to keep the tension going from beginning to end. Joel Edgerton plays this loner who reunites with someone he went to high school with. As in all movies, he oversteps his boundaries and when they tell him to leave them alone, he doesn't leave with dignity. After he's gone, he exposes a lot of truth about the husband (Jason Bateman) to his wife (Rebecca Hall) that she might have been better off without knowing. There's a definite twist at the end that's no so much as preposterous so much as something that makes you go back and rethink everything that's happened. It's a great thriller and definitely one of the more underrated movies of the Summer.

3/4

Sinister 2

No. No. No. One of the reasons why people tear sequels a new asshole is because not only do many feel like weak attempts at making bank, but they take all of the guidelines from the original and completely destroy them. One of the creepiest elements from the original was that this unknown figure named Bughuul was controlling these children and making them kill their families on tape. This one not only goes against that by making Bughuul appear every 2 seconds, it suggests the children are making new children kill their families. The whole thing just feels desperate and lazy as nothing ever comes across as inventive or remotely scary. Even the tapes feel phoned in, instead of getting stellar ones such as the family hanging or being run over by the lawn mower, we get killed by Snow, rats, and a fucking alligator? There's something Sinister going on here but it started and stopped with whoever released the script for this.

1/4

For a Good Time, Call...

At times, it's as messy as the phone sex line, but the lead actresses' natural charm makes it an overall sticky sweet affair.

3/4