The Lego Movie

And here I was thinking Pixar was the only company with their animated shit together. The Lego Movie is such a blast I couldn't get enough of it. The visuals are an absolute dream here. All of the colors and tiny details (even their showers are impressive) look immaculate and I would be shocked if this didn't receive a Best Animated Feature nomination next year. The music played is ridiculously catchy, all of the characterization is terribly clever (I especially enjoyed The Green Lantern isolation bit) and there's a nice little twist at the end I enjoyed as well. And to add to its' saving graces, Morgan Freeman kills it as Vitruvius, the mentor of the group. Everything is awesome.

3/4

The Master

What an absolute mindfuck. A movie like The Master rarely comes along. I was reading a short article that mentions, "The movies that are the most entertaining are the ones with ideas that you entertain" or something along those lines and that made me think of this movie. Weeks later I still can't stop thinking about it.

The Master is such an absorbing spectacle it's really impossible to get it out of your head. The performances from the talented trio are pitch perfect. Joaquin Phoenix's character is Freddy, a veteran suffering from PTSD, alcoholism and a strange addiction to drinking poisonous alcohol, and having agressive sexual thoughts towards any female with a pulse.

He's out of control. That is, until he comes across a cult-like group who believes in The Cause. The enticing leader is Lancaster Dodd (Philip Seymour Hoffman), a man who becomes a father figure to Freddy and is willing to guide him amongst the others to relieve his traumatic life experiences in order to push past them towards a better future. Lancaster's wife Peggy (Amy Adams) is less welcoming then her husband, as she knows the unstability and recklessness of this stranger that they have just welcomed in.

Joaquin Phoenix is a force of nature as Freddy. He's such a primitive character with all of his grunts and violent behaviors, but despite this characterization, he feels oddly sympathetic as well, like a lost animal that just doesn't know any better.

Philip Seymour Hoffman brings many layers and a ton of depth to his character who may or may not be full of Shit. Which doesn't really matter. You're so drawn to how convincing and fascinating Hoffman's performance is that you would sign up for whatever he sold you.

Though she definitely isn't as used as much as I would have liked her to have been, Amy Adams nails every single one of her scenes. She gives such a power and strength to Peggy you would swear she is The Master. Her scenes with Hoffman most notably one of her early scenes after a doubter of The Cause verbally challenges the group and a later scene regarding Freddy are easily some of the most unforgettable of the movie.

Another thing I loved about The Master was that there are no easy answers. I thought about the final scenes and drew about 5 different conclusions as to what The Master really resolves to and though there's scenes that make me believe each could be true, you never really know the true Black & White answer.

With it's powerful punch of stellar performances, intriguing and multi-layered characters and a plot that will leave you thinking and really evaluating the meaning behind Anderson's masterful direction, The Master is a masterpiece, pun intended.

4/4

Her

What a beautiful piece of cinematic art, I knew 5 minutes into Her that I would love it. Everything about this movie feels like magic. Joaquin Phoenix is stellar as Theodore and couldn't be any more sympathetic or charming in his lonely ways. Scarlett Johanson is fantastic as Samantha, the voice of the operating system that Theodore falls in love with, she has such a charisma, charm, and relatibility a majority of the movie I almost forgot that she wasn't actually on screen. Amy Adams gives a much stronger performance and has a much more engaging character then her Hustle gig as Amy, Theodore's only in the flesh female friend that has more in common with her buddy then imagined. Everything about the movie makes you feel like you're in a dream from the fantastic cinematography to the perfect screenplay, Her is a moviegoer's long lost love that came back.

4/4

The Wolf of Wall Street

This movie is such an in your face, kick to the crotch type of show I was worried it would come off as obnoxious, instead, it's a total blast. There's so much energy from the direction to the screenplay to the performances you would swear every employee was injected with Heroin and Red Bull before shooting. I was more then enticed for the three hour length and Leonardo DiCaprio shines in the outrageous physical comedy and the outrageous physical and mental distruction. This Wolf packs a huge bite.

4/4

The Spectacular Now

It could have been such awful teen-bopper bullshit but The Spectacular Now feels so special it should be studied for everyone trying to make a romance about two teenagers from opposite sides falling in love. It has drama without being overdramatic, it has comedy without the crudeness. Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley couldn't have more chemistry even if they were married in real life. No caricatures or bullshit here. The popular guy isn't empty-headed, the girl whose different isn't a complete lost cause, even the popular girl isn't vapid (Brie Larson whose also stellar in her scenes). Very impressive indeed.

3/4

Lone Survivor

If there is a movie whose marketing I wanna kick more then Lone Survivor's then it's simply a crime against humanity. Though Lone Survivor gets the job done, the trailer, poster, and advertisements displaying Mark Wahlberg as the "Lone Survivor" really kill a lot of the suspense as to who will make it to the end. It also makes the scenes of Wahlberg fighting alone feel weightless and stuffed. But luckily, Lone Survivor has its' heart and soul from beginning to end. And though you know exactly what will happen to his fallen comrades on the mission (Ben Foster, Emile Hirsch, and Taylor Kitsch), it doesn't make what you're watching break your heart any less.

3/4

Blue Jasmine

If there's a way to be a fantastic hot mess, it's Cate Blanchett in Blue Jasmine, a firecracker of a movie that never stops sizzling with humor and wit.

Cate Blanchett is Jasmine, a woman whose life has fallen to pieces since she lost her money, her status, and her husband (Alec Baldwin) and he also committed suicide to add insult to injury. Her mental status is reduced to talking to herself amongst strangers. She needs help. This help comes in the form of Ginger (Sally Hawkins), her middle class sister that Jasmine used to look down on. To say that their lifestyles clash would be an understatement.

Cate Blanchett couldn't have given a better performance as far as I'm concerned. The level of committment here is insane. Jasmine has about 10,000 different personalities and moods and Blanchett nails every single one of them. This is the performance of a well deserved soon-to-be Oscar winner. Sally Hawkins also holds her own as Jasmine's sympathetic and eager to help punching bag.

The writing in Blue Jasmine is top notch. Witty, insightful, quote-worthy and hillarious, Blue Jasmine had me laughing from scene to scene. Never did insanity look like such a blast.

4/4

Enough Said

Enough Said is a rom-com that easily could have failed but to its' credit the writing and performances are so irresistible disliking this movie is like disliking kittens. Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Gandolfini couldn't shine more as Eva and Albert, two lonely and seemingly hard to love divorcees who wind up meeting and falling in love. Only one problem; Albert's ex-wife; Marianne (Catherine Keener) turns out to become Eva's new bff. You know where it's going but the material just feels so authentic and warm it's worth it. Sometimes you can just enjoy the trip even though you know where it will end up.

3/4

American Hustle

Just why??? I don't understand. This one had everything in its' favor. A stellar director, an attractive, well-liked and talented cast, hair and makeup which is already kind of a comedy as it is, and not to mention the trailers made it look like so much fun to watch. So why did I end up feeling like I was watching a cheap trick for almost 2.5 hours?

The overall idea here is that pretty much all of the main characters are awful people trying to outscrew each other. Irving (Christian Bale) & Sydney (Amy Adams) are a pair of con artists who came from nothing and rose to something by riding other people's checkbooks and work. After a certain scam, they are busted by Richie (Bradley Cooper), a detective who really doesn't have that many ethics considering how quickly he is turned to the dark side by the conniving pair. Their goal is to screw over Mayor Carmine (Jeremy Renner) in order to save all of their asses and make a quick buck. Oh and Irving is also married to Rosalyn (Jennifer Lawrence) who has the potential to blow the whole con job to Hell considering her massive gift of simultaneously doing and saying all the wrong things at once.

So where did all this potential for a blast go wrong? For starters, I feel like the cast was other underutilized or just didn't perform up to par. Jennifer Lawrence is great in her scenes, but considering her past work in Winter's Bone, Silver Linings Playbook, and even the Hunger Games series, this performance fades and she really isn't on camera enough to really shine (though I must say her angry cleaning scene is my favorite of the whole movie). Amy Adams probably gives the most "Oscar friendly" performance, but her character just feels so static and bland, the most interesting thing about Sydney is that she doesn't wear a dress that covers her up from beginning to end (which I must say Adams wears quite well).

The men fare even worse. I'm actually quite baffled by the Oscar nominations that the two received. Christian Bale's performance feels so terribly dry and tedious I was wondering if he was even acting in the same movie (or the "fun" that the movie was trying to achieve). There's no swagger or comedy about his performance or character he's just a straight up dud. Bradley Cooper also failed to stand-out, I easily found him to be the most forgettable of the four.

When I think about the movie's script and progression from beginning to end, I start reminiscing about those old "Choose Your Own Fate/Ending" stories and how I would always manage to hit a wall with every decision I made. This conflict I had with these books couldn't sum up American Hustle any better; it's a project of missed opportunities. All of these characters are either really dim-witted or kind of awful people yet there's no comedy or drama or even a surprise with how the movie progresses. It's a neverending road with no twists, turns, or hills. There were so many scenes I kept waiting for the rocket to take off such as the cameo by Robert De Niro and the foreshadowing of Rosalyn and her big mouth getting everyone in trouble yet the flame just died. "Empty, empty, empty" is a quote barked out by Rosalyn at one point in the movie. She couldn't have summarized her own movie any better. You just got hustled.

Rating: 1/4

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

Ugh. Just when I was starting to warm up to the Paranormal Activity franchise they had to do this shit to me. I actually quite enjoyed part 3 and though part 4 was terribly unnecessary, it wasn't really painful to watch. This laughable entry (which for some dumb reason isn't being labeled as number 5) is back down in the dumps with number 1 and 2. It's ghastly and horrifying but for all the wrong reasons.

Andrew Jacobs plays Jesse, the ridiculously bland lead who is unlucky enough to be the cursed one. Fun fact, I had actually had to look on IMDB to remember what the character's name was. Shows how much I was paying attention. But anyways, after an elderly, possible witch of a neighbor is killed, him and his equally fun to watch friend; Hector (Jorge Diaz) start snooping around where they shouldn't and well...if you've seen at least one movie in your life or are over the age of five you should be able to tell me what happens.

I just can't fathom how this movie was released into theaters or how it has fans. I knew I wasn't watching 12 Years A Slave/Gravity worthy material but goddamn it there's just no life here (all puns intended). The performances are ridiculously lazy and uninteresting, the characters have no personalities and could have been killed by a ghost or a demon or a killer cold for all I cared within minutes. The dialogue feels terribly forced, the costumes look Walmart-y and there's no wit or frights to be found. I bitched about the first couple of movies in the series being lazy and unimaginative but they were Spielberg worthy compared to what's on screen this time. Real black magic can be found within these movies but it's not on screen; it occurs whenever any entry after this gets signed off to be viewed by the public.

Rating: 0/4