Club Dread

Looked like a ton of fun to make! Shame it left out the audience in that party. 

1/4



Teeth

Just as the idea of sex couldn't seem to get any scarier to some, is Teeth, a hillarious, disturbing, original, and terribly fun movie all about the consequences of having non-consensual sex. Starring Jess Weixler as Dawn, the lead girl who is cursed with vagina dentana. Which pretty much means exactly what it sounds like, she has teeth inside her vagina that spring into action whenever someone tries to...enter, without her consent. As you can imagine, the results are often quite painful for those who just can't seem to leave her alone.

Lots of movies feature teenagers killing other teenagers and/or having powers/curses that enable them to do so, but I can't say I've ever seen one that has anything in common with Teeth, in the very best way. Teeth manages to keep your interest through the horror that these characters go through with Dawn and the humor that is also portrayed in these sequences of horror as well. Gynocologists, step-brothers, sexually frustrated religious guys beware, Dawn (brilliantly played by Weixler) is on the hunt, and it's safe to say she is certainly long in the tooth.

3/4



A Nightmare on Elm Street

In general, I feel like people shit all over remakes just for the simple fact that they're remakes. If one is exactly the same as the original, it gets beat to death as being pointless and repetitive (The Omen). If one makes some pretty big changes or any differences in the story...then it just gets labeled as silly or overcomplicated (Halloween). When watching a remake, I try to put the original out of my mind when critiquing the newer version. Obviously, try is the big word, considering comparisons of the two are quite unavoidable, but I digress. I actually enjoyed this version of Nightmare on Elm Street mainly because it was as Goldilocks would say..."Just right" in the middle of the two worlds. It didn't strictly copy the original's format nor did it make 135038493489358934839 changes just to strive to be different.

Anyone who has ever seen any horror movie pretty much already knows the basic plotline of Nightmare on Elm Street. Freddy Krueger (Jackie Earle Haley) is burned to the ground by parents on Elm Street whose children were murdered by Freddy. He comes back (like they all do) and begins to murder all of the teenagers who live on Elm Street...in their dreams. Most noticeable of those teenagers being Kris (Katie Cassidy from Black Christmas) and Nancy (Rooney Mara from Girl with the Dragon Tattoo).

I was impressed by the little surprises in NOES (because I'm too lazy to keep writing out the full title). The main one, being the order of the characters' deaths. Without giving away too much, one character who we fully expect to be the lead and make it through the end...dies in their second scene, while another character who we imagined would be a co-star...turns out to be the hero/heroine of the movie after all. It's pretty refreshing when you can't guess a movie's death order right after viewing the characters for the first time. Easily some kudos to the writers is owed right there.

NOES actually manages to be quite scary at times as well. Some of the cat and mouse scenes with Freddy chasing around the teenagers in their dreams still feel as inventive and fun to watch as were the scenes in the original NOES. And also, the new version of NOES doesn't splatter gore across the screen at every given opportunity. Like an animal, NOES strives to achieve its' goal through the hunt as opposed to just focusing on the kill alone.

The acting is actually pretty impressive as well. Generally I don't expect many strong performances in these types of movies, but this one actually proves to be an exception. Or maybe my standards are just super low after watching billions of Syfy channel movies where the actors would be deemed as competent if they knew when to scream on cue. Ehh, either way...NOES isn't a total embarassment to watch in terms of performances, and the leads (mainly Rooney <3) do the original characters proud. NOES actually is a pretty solid remake on a flawless original in my opinion. Just please....DON'T MAKE ANY MORE SEQUELS TO THIS. That would be a bigger dreamkiller than Freddy for fuck's sake.

3/4

Chronicle

Taking a fresh perspective on the typical movie involving superpowers is Chronicle, a film about three teenage boys who receive superpowers by a radiation hole. The twist on this movie is that unlike other movies where the main characters have powers....these three guys never even remotely consider the idea of using their powers of helping out others. Instead they're too busy on doing things like; moving people's cars, rearranging everyone's stuff, flying to different countries, and just being able to shoot the breeze on top of the highest building in the city. But like all movies with superpowers, a villain is formed, as the most conflicted and disrespected teenager; Andrew (Dane DeHaan) starts using his powers for pain as opposed to fluff. Chronicle contains some awesome visuals, the scenes of the three guys flying like planes look stellar and DeHaan, Alex Russell, and Michael B. Jordan are quite solid as the lead guys in this.

But unfortunately, Chronicle falls short of amazing mainly because of the lack of material provided. Too many scenes involving the guys using their powers feel repetitive and after a while...it gets a bit old to see them use these powers and the ending is highly disappointing. Nothing terribly interesting is provided, the fight scenes all feel like they're one big overlong scene and the absolute final scene lacks any sort of a satisfying finish. Chronicle shot for the stars but instead, it just hit about as high as the top of one of the buildings that the characters frequently hang on.

2/4