House of Wax

I'm gonna say something which might surprise a lot of people. A MOVIE FEATURING PARIS HILTON IS ACTUALLY GOOD. Yeah, shocker right? But seriously, for what it is (a.k.a; a movie that won't cure cancer), House of Wax is a pretty fun horror movie that will keep you entertained from beginning to end.

House of Wax is simple enough. Six friends; Carly (Elisha Cuthbert from Girl Next Door), her boyfriend Wade (Jared Padalecki), Blake (Robert Ri'Chard from Cousin Skeeter), Carly's brother Nick (Chad Michael Murray), his friend Dalton (Jon Abrahams), and Blake's girlfriend Paige (Paris Hilton) take a slight detour on the way to a big football game. Eventually they arrive at an area where everything is made of wax, and almost looks a bit...too real. Eventually the group splits up and that's when a pair of brothers decides to start racking up some more wax figures out of the group.

In terms of set design alone, House of Wax is pretty cool. All of the scenes (even the early ones that don't involve killing) are quite menacing and creepy. It actually builds up some potential thrills early on without having to resort to cheap "GOTCHA!" scares. The scenes later on in the movie when the House of Wax begins to melt are pretty badass as well. Very claustrophobic and just bizzare overall.

As far as performances go, pretty standard for the genre actually. No one is completely unwatchable but no one really stands out. Pretty much everyone acts like a fairly good looking mannequin until it's time to well...become a good looking mannequin. No one really stands out among the six but considering some of the kennel club-filled movies in terms of performances...you could do much worse.

Even though it's not a terrifying movie, I would say House of Wax has some pretty good scares. The kills are a bit more inventive and creative then most movies of the genre and at least the death order is slightly unpredictable. Not even gonna lie though, the best death is easily Paris Hilton's. What a way to go.

House of Wax won't be changing any lives but I would say it's a solid entry into the gore-filled franchise. Director Jaume Collet-Serra knows what the fans want and how to give it to them. Tons of gore, some humor, and a story that's fair enough to not completely piss people off but isn't distracting enough to get in the way of the bloodshed that someone who goes to a movie called "House of Wax" expects to see. Just don't expect a miracle. And pray that the GIANT hint at a sequel was a joke. Only so many times someone can visit a house of wax before it burns down to the ground and kills everyone in it. Just saying.

3/4