Saturday, July 20, 2013

Hatchet III


It saddens me how ridiculously terrible continuations like Hatchet III make people forget about how awesome the original Hatchet was in every way. It was hillarious, the performances were full of fun, the characters actually had personalities, the gore looked great and it was actually quite jumpy as well. Movies like Hatchet III should be banned from anything having to do with such a high quality.

There's such little plot here it's impossible to stretch it out. Marybeth (Danielle Harris) thinks that she killed Victor Crowley, of course (due to some inane logic about Victor returning to his former self every night) he isn't dead, ripping through a new group of people in a matter of minutes, it's up to Marybeth to stop him and blah blah blah.

It's hard to say what's the biggest reason is why Hatchet III makes you wish the hatchet would go through your head instead of the characters on screen. Could it be the ridiculously terrible performances? (Even by straight to DVD standards...this shit is beyond belief. Could it be the laughable death scenes and awful makeup (see how Crowley looks in this entry for further proof)? Could it be that there isn't a single scare, laugh, or surprise from beginning to end? Regardless, the scariest part about Hatchet III is the poster where the tagline "This legend never dies".

The very thought of there being a 4th Hatchet entry is far more sinister and terrifying then anything Crowley will ever be able to do with his infamous weapon.

0/4

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